Wednesday, August 31, 2011

School Days

I figured I needed to blog about something more exciting and happy....... what would be better then talking about Hailey and her first week of school?!?

Hailey had a very exciting August. Not only did she celebrate her 4th Birthday, have a Birthday party with her friends and family, but she got accepted into Pre K at Lettie Marshall Dent! We found out on August 4th and had exactly 20 days to get her all ready. She got two new pairs of school shoes, one pair of white DCs and stars, and one pair of black DCs and stars. She got new school clothes. She got school supplies. And she got her official school haircut, so that she would look all fresh and ready for the new year. I filled out tons of forms for the school, got her doctor to fill out her physical forms and shot records, and we waited patiently to see if she would attend class in the AM or PM.

I found out on Monday, August 22nd that she was in the AM class (what a relief) and then on Tuesday August 23rd we went to the open house and found out who her teacher was and dropped off her school supply. School started on August 23rd, but since it was the first day, Pre K students got to come in with their parents for orientation. This was exciting for me. The children were called and taken to their classrooms while the parents started the busy work of filling out more forms and watching a PowerPoint on the ABCs of PreK. Ekkkk there is alot to know!

Some of the cool things from that was:
1. She has a day of PE
2. She has a day of Art
3. They try to take the kids to the playground for at least 10 minutes a day.
4. They have a day where they go to the library and check books out.
5. They have show and tell every Friday
6. They have Blue Dolphin reader books that they bring home to read which are rotated throughout the class.
7. If she fills out 10 forms for the Blue Dolphin a month, then she will get an award
8. They have award ceremonies.
9. They have special parties.
10. They take turns bringing the class pet home (stuffed animal) and have to do a report about the weekend they spent with it.
11. They have folders that go back and forth every day that she brings home to me.
12. In this folder is a report card for each day to let me know how she was.
13. On half days she brings her lunch and stays until 1:45
14. She will have 2 field trips this year, one to the Charlotte Hall Library and one to Elms Beach.

Can you tell I am very excited for her?!? I remember how exciting these things were for me when I was little so it makes me even more excited for her! I know she will love it. And I love the idea of being able to be a part of it!

Okay, back to the first day of school...... so while we did the orientation, the kids went back to the classrooms for an hour. Hailey told me that she didn't talk to anyone or make any friend (actually what she said was "its only the first day, what do you expect", what a little brat! haha), but they did read a book called the Helping Hand and they played a game of freeze dance, which she LOVES!

The second day of school was the big day. This was the day that she got to ride the bus and got to school by herself. I wasn't to nervous for her (thank you new anxiety medicine!), but I could tell she was unsure. The bus came at 8:16 and she got on. She sat in the second row with a little boy that got on the same stop and was in Kindergarten. She came home at 12:05 and had lots to tell me! I was disappointed that the folder didn't have anything for me to read or do, but I did get to see that she got a green square for the day! Way to go! She told me that she got the talking stick and that she was able to get it by using patience. She also taught me about "criss cross apple sauce", which when I was growing up was called sitting Indian Style. She did not get to go on the playground because it looked like it was going to rain. She told me that one little boy cried because they couldn't go out, and again she did not talk to anyone or make new friends. She also wouldn't tell me what she said when it was her turn with the talking stick. Oh well! She will tell me when she is ready I guess.

The third day of school was completely different. This time she did not wait for Kenny to walk her to the bus, she took off running with the other kids. She sat in the second seat again this time all by herself. She waved to us as the bus was pulling away. She is so tiny on that big old bus, especially with her big book bag! It's so cute! The third day was Friday so it was show and tell. She had to bring something that started with her first name. We picked out her new Princess Zhu Zhu hamster since hamster starts with H. She said they had to leave them in their book bags until it was time. She also told me that this was the day she had to remember where her cubby and hook was all by themselves. When it was time for show and tell they sat in a circle and had to keep their item behind their back. She cracked Kenny and I up, when she said she was making her hamster make noises while it was behind her back. What a mess, she must get that badness from her father! She said she showed the hamster, but didn't talk. She said that the following week they would be learning how to use scissors! Very exciting! This day they got to go on the playground. She said she stood by herself and watched everyone play because there was just too many kids. This kind of upset me because I thought of poor little Hailey standing there all by herself watching, but then I reminded myself that this must be a lot to take in and that she would get used to it soon. So I dismissed the idea of writing her teacher an email. Haha!

Hailey is very proud of herself for going to school. She told me all about learning the days of the week song (which she messes up, but hey! she still knows the days of the week even if they aren't in order!). I catch her humming or singing it a lot lately.

I am so proud of her. I can not express how happy I am that she got into school. She really needed this. Hailey is extremely smart, but lacks the basic knowledge like counting and her alphabet. She can tell you about hurricanes and mammals, but she can't count past 10. So this will be good for her! Also she isn't used to being around a lot of kids, so this gives her time to adjust in small doses instead of just being thrown into a full day of Kindergarten next year. I can't wait to hear about her day when she gets home and see how she progresses through the year!

This week there hasn't been any school so far, due to the damage of the hurricane. I did just get an email though saying that it will be open at normal time tomorrow! So stay tuned to hear more about Hailey's school day adventures!

And what would this post be without some pictures!

 Meet the teacher day! She refused to look at me!

First day of school with Mommy and Daddy!

Second day of school! First picture was waiting for the bus and the second was getting off the bus!

Third day of school!

What's worse: holding on to the pain or pretending you have already let go?

Have you ever felt like you were just walking around pretending everything okay, when inside of you is tons of broken pieces that you have to be careful not to let slip out? I know that feeling, when you work so hard trying to hide the stuff that you want to forget, but things some how seem to slip through the cracks.

There's a lot of stuff I want to forget. There is issues I wish others would forget and move on. I bury the stuff that bothers me, where others holds onto and never gets over it. You can't change the past, you can only work with what is served. Try to look on the bright side, but there again when you are grasping so tightly to the past, you won't be able to see e bright side in things. This whole issue is something else I work hard on burying deep in the back of my mind. There is no point in asking why or why not because the cards have already been delt, now you learn to play with the new hand you have been given.

I wish many things were different, I wish people were in my life that aren't anymore. I wish I could let go of some of the people who are in my life that shouldn't be, but one step at a time I guess. I just bury it in the back and hope for the best.

The problem with hiding stuff, is you never know when it will come out. And when it does slip out, you never know how you are going to deal with it. Will you be able to hide it, or will you cry, or will you just be angry. Needless to say, you get over it and you shove it back in the dark spot along with the memory of this new event and the pain you felt.

I have been hurt, I have done hurtful things, I've lost loved ones, I've watched loved ones suffer, I have made poor decisions, I deal with the demons that follow me as a haunting reminder of these decisions, I have things I wish I have said or done, and things I wish I hadn't. But in the end of the day I will bury it deep in the back of my mind and put a smile on and pretend that I don't hurt and that I am not as broken as I really am. I will let the people who have helped me get this way continue to break me because it will just be another piece that I will shove in my dark spot and hope that no one will see.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Day 12

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

This one is easy! I found Blogger through Heather! I made on because she bugged me enough to start one! I used to have secret blogs, so it's kind of exciting to be able to share stuff with people. I am pretty sure only one or two people read this, but whatever, I am doing it for me! It makes me think and vent.

Day 11

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 10

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

There is a lot of music that I listen to when I am happy, sad, bored, hyped, and mad. I listen to country alot because I feel it speaks to me. But I am picky about the country I do listen to. I don't like to much "yee haw" country. I like a lot of emo/alternative music like Senses Fail and Brand New. I get stuck on CDs and play them over and over and over again. Sometimes I am in the mood for loud screamo type music. And other times I am in the mood for some pop type music. I listen to the Brand New channel on Pandora every day at work, so that gets me threw the day......

Day 09

Sorry, I fell behind!
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Let's see. Something that I have been proud of..... hmmmmm.....

Well maybe something I have been proud of is that I am doing something for myself that I have needed to do for a while. I can't really get into too much detail, but for once I am putting my foot down and making a change. As hard as it has been for me, I am doing my best sticking to my words. So that is something I have been proud of these last couple of days.