So We Are Having A Baby!

If you saw my wordless Wednesday from this week you will see the announcement I made that we are having a baby! My due date is June 16th so I still have a long way to go, but I am a quarter of the way there! Woot Woot!

It hasn't been any secret that I have had baby fever for some time now! Kenny has been on board since Hailey was about one for having another baby and actually as time has gone on he seemed less interested in having another one. I really wanted to go ahead and have another one, but the timing just didn't seem right. I wanted to plan it perfectly. I wanted to better off financially. I wanted to have the housing situation all figured. Then I wanted to finish school. Then I wanted to work on getting healthier. And the more I planned the further we were getting. I finished school in May and decided that this would be time and we were ready.

I decided to stop taking birth control in August and we thought we would take our chances at trying in September. I figured that since I have issues with my girlie parts and the birth control, that I wouldn't expect anything anytime soon. I figured maybe it would be trying in October or November or even later. No worries!

So imagine my surprise when I woke up the night before I was suppose to get my monthly gift very nauseous. It was the middle of the night and I figured let me just take a test just so I could see it was negative and then I could go back to sleep and not be awake wondering. To my surprise as I sat watching my test, the second pink line showed up!

I had envisioned this moment over and over! How excited I would be and I would be jumping up and down and couldn't wait to tell Kenny. Well let's just say the first thing that crossed my mind was panic! I was excited, but I was also very nervous, anxious, and scared. This is a huge life changing situation and even though I thought I was ready, it was still scary to see that it was real! I woke Kenny up and told him and his response was "congratulations" and then he went back to snoring. I was done sleeping for that night!

My mom has made sure that it was no secret that she did NOT want me to have anymore children. Whenever the topic was brought up she would tell me all the reasons to why I should not have anymore children. The world isn't a friendly place. I can't afford any more. I want you to be able to be a stay at home mom. And of course my health issues. The more I was on board about trying this fall the more the conversation was coming up and the more she was pushing me not to have anymore. When Hailey would mention that she wanted a sibling, my mother would quickly put an end to that by saying "No you don't! Then you would have to share all your toys" or "Grammy only wants and needs you!"

This is something that I have really struggled with. I know I am 26 years old, but who wants to disappoint their parents at any age. I was stuck between trying to please my parents and doing what I thought was right for my family. When I thought of another baby, all I could think about was all the exciting moments that the baby and Hailey could share. I pictured Hailey coming to the hospital to meet the new baby and being completely in love with it. I pictured her helping feeding it and wanting to hold it. I pictured us doing holidays as a family of four and the kids running around playing with each other. The picture I saw was of a complete family. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with what I have now, but I just felt that this was a missing piece to our puzzle.

After seeing the positive test, all I could think about was my Mom and how I was going to tell her. I was so sick with anxiety the whole day, until finally I cracked and called her. She was upset and she voiced her concerns. I had prepared myself that she wasn't going to be excited and offering her congratulations right away. I feel the conversation went well and maybe even better then I expected. And she told me that she felt I should wait to tell people, so except for my two best friends, it was my secret.

I made an appointment the next day to go to the doctors and go over my medicines. I was on furlough so it made things a little more easier with being able to get an appointment. I got one for that Wednesday morning. It would be a confirmation appointment and then an OB consult for medicines. That appointment didn't go like I thought it would have. In fact, I tested negative for pregnancy. That kind of changed the whole meeting with the OB because she wanted to run my blood work and didn't want to discuss anything until after we confirmed my pregnancy. I went and had blood work done and sat around the whole afternoon worried and sick to my stomach that it was going to be negative. In fact, I even stopped and bought another brand of tests on my way home! I took it and of course it was an instant positive. I finally got the phone call a few hours later saying that my blood work came back and that I was indeed pregnant. She wanted me to repeat the labs in two days to make sure they were increasing like they should and the results to that test were also good. So we finally had a confirmed pregnancy! I made my appointment for my first prenatal visit for 3 weeks later on Halloween.

Our next decision was when we would tell Hailey. But I'll save that for my next post!