Wednesday, August 1, 2012

30 Things (8)

Best of Both Worlds

8. What are 5 passions you have?
I have never really thought of this before. I actually just had to look up the meaning of "passions" to get a better understanding. So let me give this a try.....

1. Being around people- I love love LOVE to be around people. I am sociable and I like to have a good time. I do better one on one with people, but I still just like to be with my friends or my family or with Hailey. But, don't get me wrong I also like silence and to just relax at time too.

2. Field hockey- I played it all through high school. It's the only sport I  have ever played. I picked it back up last fall playing for an adult league. I traveled almost 2 hours each way to play every Sunday by myself all Fall outdoor season. Then this past winter I recruited a friend for indoor so that was alot fun. I also began playing goalie which was something I had always wanted to do. My mind is always thinking and worrying about something EXCEPT when I am in goal. The only thing I focus on is watching the game and the ball in front of me. It is a total stress reliever and I am surprisingly aggressive at the sport.

3. School- I wouldn't say I love going to school, but I love working towards something I REALLY want! It is something that has never been given to me. I don't qualify for financial aid, even though I don't have the money to pay for it. I just push to make ends meet each semester. I take full courses, not because I want to, but because I want to push myself. I have never taken a semester off in fear that I wouldn't be able to get back in the flow. It has been super intense with work and Hailey and just life, but it is something I want to prove to myself and to show Hailey that you can do anything you put your mind to. I knew my family didn't have money to send me to college growing up so it was never on my mind. It wasn't until I was 19 and decided that I wanted something more out of life that I decided to pack up and head to college. I couldn't go to a nice school because it wasn't affordable. Instead I went to a community college, lived in a crappy apartment in a bad area and worked full time making nothing just so I could pay my part of the bills. I have never had support. Even though my family is proud of me, they didn't care if I went or didn't. No one in my family is a college graduate. My husband would actually prefer if I didn't go because of the money issue and knowing that I am just adding to my personal credit card debt. For two years it was required so that I could keep my job at work as a student position in the government. Once I got my associates, I was able to convert to full time permanent position. Now I am pushing myself for my bachelors, doubling classes so that I can graduate and the only question I get from all my family is "When are you going to stop? You have a job now so what's the point?" The point is that it means something to me. So through the sleepless nights, the crushing deadlines, the credit card debt, the many tears, the crazy stress and anxiety, I do it because it means something to me!

4. My daughter- She is my passion. It is amazing when I stop and think about it and realize that I MADE HER! I made this tiny human being in my own body! I taught her everything she knows. I nurtured her before she was even born and as an infant and as a growing toddler. She may drive me nuts at time, but I remind myself that I wouldn't know how to live if anything would ever happen to her. So I just let her talk while I am trying to do homework or when I have had a long day, because I never want to look back and regret the fact that I didn't listen when I had the chance. She is my baby! I look at her and think how beautiful she is. And even though she is a lot like her father, she is so much like me too! She is amazing to me and so smart! I want nothing but the best for her and to be there by her side everywhere she goes.

5. Life- This is something that I take for granite while I am always rushing around. But sometimes I remind myself to just take a minute to think about everything. There is nothing like driving down the road in the beginning of fall and seeing the beautiful colors of the trees. The rain may be a bummer sometimes, but to see the flowers perk up after the rain or the grass become greener. To just lay in the sun and soak up the rays and to just breathe. The breeze that blows through your hair while you take a walk. These are all pieces of life. Amazing things that normally just past you by. Watching Hailey as she dances around her room like a ballerina and seeing how carefree she is. Seeing things grow and change. Taking notice in how much life has changed year by year. I have come to the conclusion that if I don't stop and look closely a life, then it very well could just pass me by. Things really don't matter, because you can't take them with you. It's the moments that we life for. The memories that we make and the smiles that we create. So for me, life is a passion that I don't want to take for granite anymore.

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