Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Needing a fresh start!

I was going to title this, "I need to rewind", but seriously in life there is no rewind buttons. There is only a play button, the one that moves us forward and keeps us going. So I don't need to rewind, I just need to refresh and move on!

Someone really close to me said they felt that we were barely friends anymore. This is one of my best friends, so needless to say I paniced. Its an important friendship to me and I have been feeling loss since she said that. After talking to her today, she said she felt like I am not the same person anymore. And you know what, honestly I don't feel the same anymore. I feel so down in the dumps, so uncomfortable in my own skin, so unsure of just about everything, and always so anxious. I try to stay positive on the outside, but I know that being unhappy on the inside reflects on the outside.

I have a lot to be happy about. I have a stable job, a husband who is great with our daughter, a happy and healthy daughter, I have friends who care about me, a family that loves me, a new home, and a nice area to raise a family. Money sucks, but everyone is in that boat, and in all honesty my situation could be way worse. I am able to pay the bills, I am able to put food on the table, my child has clean clothes that fit her, and shoes that she can run in. I don't have to go without eating so that my child can have a full stomach. So I am very fortunate. And though I may not have money in the bank or money to buy the things I want, I am getting by just fine. Good things come to people who wait.

So with that said, my issues are clearly internal. There has been hiccups in the road, but life is a rollar coaster and it has it's ups and downs. There is nothing too major and nothing I won't be able to get through. I just have to take it day by day.

So what can I do? What will make me feel more positive? I am a people person, but lately I just have wanted to be by myself. What can I do to make me feel like my old self again?

I have been doing a lot of research on things to make my life healthier. I have turned to some bad habits when it comes to food and eating, in turn slacking off on good habits I had developed. My sleep habits suck, my eating habits suck, and just my daily habits suck.

I'm always so exhausted, stressed, anxious, and just pure blah! I keep getting colds and I think it's just the fact that being depressed is just bringing me down altogether. It's hard on your mind, your body, and your soul.

So today I am deciding to take steps to change the way I think! To destress! To get back to feeling good about myself and just good in general! To be healthier and happier! And it all starts with simple changes! So instead of thinking they are good ideas and that "I need to do this" I am changing it to "I am GOING to do this!" And I am going to use my blog in a positive way, a journal to sort out my ideas and thoughts, and a way to move forward.

And I will be the first person to admit, I never thought much on blogging and I never understood why my friends liked it. They told me to just give it time, find other blogs to read. And I did and with it I have found so much inspiration, I have found that others think the same way as me, and have similar lives. Though I am still new at this, I have found this as a way to just vent and a place where I can be myself. I can share my likes and my dislikes, my worries and things that are going good. It's a place for me and my thoughts. And hopefully now it will be a place for a new start and a reflexion on life.

So here is a step in the right direction and the begining of a new journey to find and better myself!

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