30 Things! (3)

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

I have really put a lot of thought into what I was going to say about this question. Don't get me wrong, I have parents that have always provided everything I needed and I know they love me, but I don't know how I would describe our relationship. Let me tell you a little bit about them......

It's just my older brother and I. My Mom decided to become a SAHM when I went into Pre K because she was scared that my Dad would send me to school with messy hair and mix matched. My Dad has always worked nights and wasn't around much. We were not a very affectionate family. We didn't say "I love you" or hugged or kissed. I always knew I was loved though. My parents were really strict. My Dad pretty much ran the house since he was the one that worked. We never got to do much. I remember in elementary school our summer vacation was a day trip to Kings Dominion. It was a huge deal and was super exciting. We never had a lot of money to spend, so that probably limited what we did. I never did any activities after school or had parties. We never went out to dinner and McDonald's was a special outing. Even though I missed out on a lot, I still had a good childhood and had nice stuff and I can say I was happy.

I think the issues started when I got older and could make my own decisions. I think it was hard for them to not control me so much. In the end, they were always by my side, but in the beginning of whatever it might be, they never were. When I started dating they were not happy. In fact I was forbidden to date Kenny when I was 17, it took weeks of talks, arguments and tears to finally allow me to be able to date him. They weren't really supportive when I moved away to Baltimore for school. They were NOT supportive when I was pregnant with Hailey in the beginning. It was actually an awful first few months while my Mom convinced me how disappointed everyone would be, how big of mistake I was making, and everything under the sun that she should come up with. And they were against me marrying Kenny. And they were very against me moving. In fact I have been made to feel like I won't have a family now that I live a little over an hour away and not just 20 minutes down the road. I think all of this has made everything so much harder. My brother is another big problem and is something that my Mom and I had a huge falling out over recently. I feel pushed aside. Nothing I do is as good as he is. He has had struggles in his life, so my Mom tends to always be on the defense for him. It has actually really pushed me away from my family a lot in the past few years.

I have ALOT of anxiety when it comes to my family. I know they worry because they care, but mentally I can not deal with the negativity I get when I make a decision. Here the recent move was suppose to be such a good thing for my family, but I spent the whole first night crying because of a phone call and texts with my Mom. She told me they were hurt that I hadn't invited them over to see the house, but they have always acted like I was moving to Egypt so I was worried about asking them. Not to mention, we JUST moved most the stuff Saturday and it's nothing but bags and boxes right now. Also she said my Dad was disappointed that I didn't say good bye. Little digs like that hurt me and make me feel bad. I didn't say good bye because I didn't feel I went anywhere. My Mom also made mention that she felt I chose a friend over her since I moved where one of my best friends live and didn't stay in the area around her. It had nothing to do with Meagan living there, it was the area we liked. We liked going and seeing Meagan. The cost of living was cheaper and we had so many more options then where we lived in Maryland. It was NEVER ever about choosing someone over her. It still really hurt my heart. So my first night in my new house I cried myself to sleep because I was just sad and worried about upsetting my family.

Also we won't even get on the topic of having any more children. I really want another baby soon. I want Hailey to be a big sister. I want to grow my family. It is something that we have put a lot of thought and consideration into with money and day care. That is one of the reasons why we have waited. My Mom has flat out told me that she didn't want me to have anymore children. She has also told Hailey that she only wanted her and to spoil her. This is something that really upsets me. It makes me sad to know that the one person I should be so excited to tell, will be the one who won't be happy for me.

So this is where I am. I can't tell you what my relationship is with my parents, BUT I can tell you that they are good parents, they will always be there when I need them the most, and they have always provided everything I have needed, just not mentally.

Mother's Day (Post 2)

 Mother's day continued......

I told you would be back after I uploaded some more pictures! So this past weekend was pretty uneventful. Meagan came up and we went and got our toes done. She spent the evening making crafts with Hailey and then we got dinner with Kenny. The Caps lost the big game, so we are out of the series (womp womp), so that was kind of depressing, but good food made up for it! Then we came home and went to bed!

The next morning Meagan got up with Hailey and worked on the finishing touches to their crafts. Kenny got us a dozen donuts and my favorite coffee drink from Dunkin Donuts! The Boston Creams were in heart shapes and said "Mom" on them! After Hailey showed me all her presents we ate our breakfast and Meagan left to go see her Mom. I putted around the house until 3 and we headed to my grandmother's for a Mother's day dinner. We just did hamburgers and hot dogs and chips. I brought a strawberry shortcake for desert. It was relaxing and we just hung out there. As you will see, I played with my camera some and let Jaime be my model! She has gotten so big and so sweet! I love my baby cousin! I love watching Hailey interact with her, they are best friends!

I ended the night on the couch watching Say Yes to the Dress Brides Maid edition. I had never watched those shows, but I think I got a new series to watch on Netflix!

Now for some pics!!!!

Mothers Day (Post 1)

A few pictures from Mother's day! These were the gifts I was given! The first four were ones that Hailey and Meagan made together for me. There is a pompom frog, a butterfly flower pot that uses her hands as wings, a colorful bouquet of flowers made out of coffee filters, and a bouquet of flowers they got for me. The final picture was a gift from Kenny and Hailey. It was the ring that matches my open heart necklace that I got for my anniversary/Christmas! I had sent him the link weeks earlier when I first saw it and I was very surprised he got it for me! They also got me a Tinkerbell card that sings. Everything was a very nice surprise and what I loved even more was the excitement that Hailey had when she was giving everything to me! I know she worked really hard on everything, even with keeping a secret!

So here are some pics off my phone and I will post more later when I get home and upload them off my camera!!!

HELLO 2011!!!!!

So it's offically a new year! I am glady welcoming 2011 and the changes it will bring. I am already working on my resolutions. Hopefully I will post them later!

New years eve didn't go as planned exactly, but still turned out fun. The plan was to have a little "party" like we did last year. Of course the guest were just Kenny, Hailey and I, but hey! it's still a party right! Thursday I went to the party store and picked up some decorations, a balloon, and a party kit with hats and noise makers. So yesterday I spent the day fighting the crowds at the grocery stores. When I got home I went ahead and rolled up pigs in a blanket, made some crab dip, and got everything set up for our party. We made last minute plans to go out with one of my best friends and his girlfriend to the japanese steak house, we have been talking about going since June! Boy, did we pick the wrong night! We were told a 45 minute wait, which was close to about right. Then we got seated and two of the people we were seated with requested the head chef! Ughhhh! So we wait almost an hour and a half to get our food! Needless to say we were all getting grumpy. Our short dinner turned into a 3 hour adventure. Atleast it was with people I love and hardly ever get to see because one hardheaded boy WON'T ANSWER HIS PHONE!!! lol ::end tiny rant::. So we ended up getting home at like 10:30. So our party didn't happen. Maybe today it will happen! The menu consists of pigs in a blanket, crab dip, steamed shrimp, bacon chedar potato skins, chips with slasa and cheese, and green frozen party punch! Yummy!..... sorry, got side tracked, back to my story.... So we got home and watched TV and got our hats picked out. I made Kenny turn on the count down shows around 11:30, he was not happy at all, but come on this only comes once a year, Pawn Stars are on all the time!!! So we watched that and brought in the new year with lots of noise! Hailey enjoyed that part the most! Plus I got my new year kiss from both Hailey and Kenny! We celebrated the new year with an ice cream Sunday, since we didn't get to have our party food! Hailey was just fine with that lol!

So here is to 2011!!! I am going to make a lot of changes this year, hopefully for the best! Yay!!

Now to get off of here and think of some resolutions that I can actually keep!!!

Christmas Recap

Before I start my new post, let me continue my old post for a second. I will give you a quick run down of our Christmas. Christmas eve was very busy! Kenny and I were both off work which was nice. We went to one of our friends to drop his gift off around 2:30. We were at Kenny's Aunt's house around 3:30 for their family get together. It was very nice, yummy food as always, and there were faces there that we normally don't get to see. Hailey had a blast getting gifts from people. She is such a lucky little girl! We met Amanda at 5:15 to do her and Hailey's gift exchange and then we went to my Mom's house around 5:30. We ate dinner with them and then did my family gift exchange and then left so we could get to Kenny's dad's house since he was leaving bright and early to catch a flight. We visited with him for a bit and he gave Hailey her presents. Then at about 10 we rushed home to get cookies started, Hailey into bed, and the wrapping begun! Christmas morning was nice, we woke up whenever and took our time opening gifts. Hailey was so excited! Santa was good to her. We went to my Grandmother's for our traditional Christmas dinner around 3:30, amazing as always! Then we just spent the evening with my whole family! Sunday we relaxed for a while and then went and had dinner with Kenny's Mom.

So all and all it was a very nice Christmas! Hailey really had a blast and appreciated everything, even the smallest things like a slinky! She has been having a blast playing with all her toys! Shes so amazing! She has been asking when Santa is coming again! LOL she has alot of waiting to do!!!